DAY 1 I'm alive. I saw both buildings go down, and my apartment is very dusty right now. I'm still a little freaked out. Phones in NYC are mostly down, but email seems to be fine. Day 2 Day 3 Day 4 Day 5

Everyone here is still very much in shock.

DAY 2
The smell is the first thing I notice. The wind has shifted to the north, and the air reeks of burnt steel. I'm about a mile and a half from what was the WTC, and in the Closed Zone. All businesses are closed and traffic prohibited below 14th St. I'm OK, as are all my immediate family and friends. I am beginning to hear of various friends of friends that weren't as lucky.

The second thing I notice is the silence. Those of you that have been here know the city has a pulse, a definite rhythm you can feel. Today there is no pulse in lower Manhattan.

The streets stream, but not swarm, with people, mostly wandering around in stunned silence. There is no anger here, only shock. The occasional silence is broken up by one of the F-15 and F-16 fighter jets that are patrolling the airspace above the island.

The sky is eerily cloudless, save the large white one that still hangs above lower Manhattan. Our mayor has done an extraordinary job,maintaining calm, and reminding us that anger, hatred and prejudice caused this, that ALL New Yorkers are victims, and to try not to harbor feelings of hatred and vengeance. That statement probably single-handledly prevented a large rash of anti-Arab backlash.

They're not accepting blood down here, and the nearest centers a few miles away have lines 4-5 hours long to give blood. There are thousands of people down here wishing there was something, anything, they could do, but there are more volunteers than jobs for them.

Local phone service seems to work, but long distance is still spotty. If there's anyone you haven't been able to reach by phone, I can probably make the call for you.

There's not much else to say. Everything else can be seen on CNN. Most of us are just wandering around with pits in our stomachs.

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DAY 3
Walking out my door this afternoon I saw a large group of maybe fifty people standing in the middle of my street. Thinking it was some sort of vigil, I wandered over and spotted a rather familiar-looking shank of white hair in the center of the crowd.

President Clinton was slowly walking down University Place, doing his best to comfort the neighborhood. His eyes were red and puffy, and he was as emotionally shaken as all of us. He was talking to a volunteer fireman in front of me, thanking him for his efforts, then continued along.

I found myself face to face with the President. I merely shook his hand and said, "Thank you."

It's amazing how comforting the handshake of the President of the United States can be.

New York has always been a traditional stronghold of Clinton support, and I'll try to keep partisanship out of this as best I can, but this was an act that will stick with me for a very long time. I'd always wanted to meet the man, but not under circumstances such as these. Regardless of his peccadillos with interns and pardons, this man was deeply and emotionally moved, and sought to help by going to the neighborhoods of the Closed Zone. It was almost as if he wanted to comfort all of lower Manhattan, one person at a time.

It's amazing how comforting the handshake of the President of the United States is.

My observations and stories are not nearly as emotional nor heartwrenching as that of many New Yorkers. I merely watched the towers fall. I did not lose a loved one, nor was I injured nor escape a close call. It seems that most New Yorkers, myself included, find catharsis in simply relating our experiences. Everyone wants to let their story out, regardless of how close they were to the impact. It's a way of coping.

Above 14th St, life is slowly returning to a dulled sensation of normal. Cabs and buses throng the avenues, although the normally insistent car-horns are much quieter.

Below 14th, it is still very silent. Businesses remain closed and traffic remains barred. Residents wishing to return home south of 14th St, are forced to show identification before being allowed to pass. Few seem to mind this extraordinary police action which seemed unthinkable 3 days ago.

The smells of burnt steel are slowly fading, and being replaced by hundreds of missing persons fliers, taped up on every pole and wall in sight.

My friends and family are all safe, although it will be a long time before anyone feels "normal".

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DAY 4
The flags do not comfort me. While I believe I live in the greatest country in the world, the sight of thousands of American flags makes me feel as if we were at war. I don't think the analogy is apt. There is no foreign government to pulverize. How can you fight an enemy who won't even claim responsibility?

Yes, the flag serves a symbol of solidarity, but it does not serve to strike fear in the hearts of the so-called enemy, only to strengthen their resolve.

Today's rain has cleared the air, although it has made the recovery effort more difficult. Traffic has returned, stores have reopened, and the roadblocks are gone, except for a small area in the southern tip of the island.

I can't remember the last time I had a good laugh.

Media fatigue is beginning to set in. Today is the first day I will not save the newspaper. A makeshift memorial has been set up at Union Square. I see nearly as many journalists as mourners.

The shock is wearing off, and the questioning has begun. Instead of "Who do we kill?", it's more along the lines of "How and why did this happen, and how can we prevent it from ever happening again?"

It's not retaliation we need. It's re-education. Hundreds of millions of practicing Muslims are as horrified as all of us. Islam is a peaceful religion. Certainly no more harmful than Christianity, Judaism, or Hinduism, all of which have given rise to their own fringe extremists.

The fringe Muslim extremists that chant "Death to Americans" are no different than the fringe Christian extremists who chant "Death to Blacks and Jews". They've merely been more successful. No true religion preaches murder of innocents, regardless of the chapter and verse you may find in the Koran/Bible/Talmud/etc.

The President has declared war on those who harbor these terrorists. Those harboring nations include Canada, Germany, and the United States, where the pilots received training. These countries obviously do not support these groups, but the same freedom afforded its citizens allow for the easy propagation of those wishing to destroy it.

Freedom, our greatest asset, has been turned into our deadliest weapon.

Victory will not be achieved when we destroy those responsible for this action, but when we eradicate the hatred and intolerance that breed these despicable actions. While it's vengeance we seek, it's compassion we need.

The T-shirt I wear today contains neither red nor blue, only white. However, it is most definitely not the flag of surrender.

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DAY 5
Capitalism has returned. Street vendors are selling postcards of the WTC for $1 a pop, and on nearly every corner is someone selling American flags, hats, or t-shirts boasting "I survived the World Trade Center".

Thousands upon thousands of candles litter Union Square, and the statue of George Washington is holding an American flag, placed there by NYU students.

The missing posters are still up, as are the thousands of flags, but the sense of foreboding is mostly gone. The city is definitely on the rebound. The bars of NYC were as crowded this weekend as I can ever remember them.

It's almost as if en masse, the city is fatigued of thinking about the past week and just want to have a beer already. People are getting weary of hearing about it 24-7. It seems as every person in this city with either a pen or an internet connection has expounded on their personal experience. There's really nothing more to say. It's all been said, and we're starting to get tired of it.

I've received emails and phone calls from all over the globe, offering places to get away from the city for a while. The offers are most appreciated, but strangely, I can't think of any place I'd rather be than here in New York, my home.

With Tuesday's events now a recessing memory to most of the planet, most New Yorkers are also returning to their lives. Unfortunately, we still have a daily constant reminder that we live in a very different world today. It only takes a brief look towards that void in the southern skyline.

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Thank you for letting me vent.

Eric Kaye

eric kaye music nyc
music for film, television, and commercials
http://www.erickayemusic.com

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